I’m breaking back into the blogging scene because well, I just can’t hold this in any longer. The greatest thing about a blog is that even if you ignore it for months on end, it will still be there waiting for you when you want to rant, rave or just share something lovely. Pardon me today while I rant just a bit.

Here’s the thing, I am not going to discuss why or why I don’t support gay marriage. To me, that isn’t the issue. The issue is that the entire subject is a non-issue or at least it should be. We shouldn’t be discussing it, it shouldn’t be filling the nightly news, it shouldn’t be discussed by fast food establishments, we shouldn’t voting on it and we certainly shouldn’t be spending a single penny on trying to convince other people whether or not we believe in it in hopes that they will believe what we believe.

People are starving. People are dying of cancer, heart disease, and various other things every day. People don’t have clean water to drink. 10,000 animals are euthanized every day. Thousands of children are stuck in the foster care system. People need jobs. People are going into public places and are shooting at random. Soldiers are dying. We are essentially destroying the environment. We are one of the unhealthiest countries, with the most resources, on the map. Children are illiterate. Adults are buried in student loan debt. 12 people just died in a movie theater. I could go on, but I’ll stop there. The fact of the matter is that there are real problems facing this country. Life and death problems. Problems that affect our lives and the lives of those around us.

I believe in a lot of things. I believe people should have to take some sort of test before having children. I believe that no dog should die in a shelter or be in one in the first place. I believe veterans should receive more support. I believe we should all have access to high quality, affordable health care. I believe people should invest more time and energy in health and nutrition and less in drugs and sickness care. I believe every single person should go to a chiropractor. I believe people should clean up after their children at restaurants. I believe I should get paid just for being awesome. I believe I should be able to eat macaroni and cheese every day without gaining weight. I believe all people should be required to volunteer their time. I believe wine should be free, straight out of my kitchen sink.

I believe in a lot of things- some good, some moral, some just plain crazy-  but never at any point do I expect my beliefs to become laws. Laws are made to protect others, they are made for the good of society, and they are made to prevent one person’s decisions or actions from impacting others in the society in a negative way. Don’t kill people. Don’t steal things. Don’t run through red lights. Those laws make sense, they keep you and I safe.

Gay marriage- let’s break it down. If two men that you’ll never meet, that live thousands of miles away, that have jobs, volunteer regularly, and like to drink coffee go ahead and get married, how will that impact you? Does it interfere with your safety? Does it inhibit your rights in any way? If two women, who have loved each other for years, raised children together, traveled the world together, and live in your city, get married, how will that impact you? When I got married how did that impact you? Did you even know? When I got married, did your life change? When my parents got married and subsequently divorced, did that impact your marriage or the sanctity of marriage in general? When my dad got remarried and then divorced once again, did your world come crashing down? Was the world made any worse or any better from any of these marriages?

So why are we talking about it? Since when do we as a country get to decide what people do in their personal lives? We are wasting time and resources on an issue that has nothing to do with protecting society. If gay people are an issue to you, inhibiting them from getting married isn’t going to make them disappear. It’s not going to make your marriage better or worse. It’s not going to prevent divorce. It isn’t going to prevent loving, committed relationships between same sex couples and it surely isn’t going to make this world a better place to live in.

In fact it is doing just the opposite. This discussion is spawning more hate, inspiring intolerance, and making it all the more likely that a child will begin to feel like they are worthless. Where is the moral integrity in that scenario? What about intolerance and judgment proves your beliefs? What about making someone feel badly about themselves is loving or kind?

People get married every single day that shouldn’t. People get married every single day that end up divorced, some in just 72 days. But the fact of the matter is that is none of our business. People have the right to make bad choices or good ones, the right to believe what they want even if we don’t agree, and certainly people should have the right to marry regardless of their sexual orientation.

Why? Because personal decisions, relationships, love… each have nothing to do with anyone else except the people involved. Spend your time fighting for peace, to end hunger, to make the world a better place for your children. Because all this gay marriage talk is just wasting our time. Stop worrying about other people’s lives and start fighting for something that really makes a difference in yours.

If the issue of freedom is at question here, whether it be speech or in general, something isn’t adding up. Imagine what would happen if all this energy going into the gay marriage debate was put towards helping others. I think collectively, regardless of which side we are on, we just might be able to change the world. Fight for something that will make a difference in the lives of others and watch yours improve exponentially. Surely we can all agree that love always prospers over hate, kindness is more gratifying than intolerance, and acceptance is much better than rejection.

MJ said it best. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at look at yourself and then make a change.