I’m breaking back into the blogging scene because well, I just can’t hold this in any longer. The greatest thing about a blog is that even if you ignore it for months on end, it will still be there waiting for you when you want to rant, rave or just share something lovely. Pardon me today while I rant just a bit.
Here’s the thing, I am not going to discuss why or why I don’t support gay marriage. To me, that isn’t the issue. The issue is that the entire subject is a non-issue or at least it should be. We shouldn’t be discussing it, it shouldn’t be filling the nightly news, it shouldn’t be discussed by fast food establishments, we shouldn’t voting on it and we certainly shouldn’t be spending a single penny on trying to convince other people whether or not we believe in it in hopes that they will believe what we believe.
People are starving. People are dying of cancer, heart disease, and various other things every day. People don’t have clean water to drink. 10,000 animals are euthanized every day. Thousands of children are stuck in the foster care system. People need jobs. People are going into public places and are shooting at random. Soldiers are dying. We are essentially destroying the environment. We are one of the unhealthiest countries, with the most resources, on the map. Children are illiterate. Adults are buried in student loan debt. 12 people just died in a movie theater. I could go on, but I’ll stop there. The fact of the matter is that there are real problems facing this country. Life and death problems. Problems that affect our lives and the lives of those around us.
I believe in a lot of things. I believe people should have to take some sort of test before having children. I believe that no dog should die in a shelter or be in one in the first place. I believe veterans should receive more support. I believe we should all have access to high quality, affordable health care. I believe people should invest more time and energy in health and nutrition and less in drugs and sickness care. I believe every single person should go to a chiropractor. I believe people should clean up after their children at restaurants. I believe I should get paid just for being awesome. I believe I should be able to eat macaroni and cheese every day without gaining weight. I believe all people should be required to volunteer their time. I believe wine should be free, straight out of my kitchen sink.
I believe in a lot of things- some good, some moral, some just plain crazy- but never at any point do I expect my beliefs to become laws. Laws are made to protect others, they are made for the good of society, and they are made to prevent one person’s decisions or actions from impacting others in the society in a negative way. Don’t kill people. Don’t steal things. Don’t run through red lights. Those laws make sense, they keep you and I safe.
Gay marriage- let’s break it down. If two men that you’ll never meet, that live thousands of miles away, that have jobs, volunteer regularly, and like to drink coffee go ahead and get married, how will that impact you? Does it interfere with your safety? Does it inhibit your rights in any way? If two women, who have loved each other for years, raised children together, traveled the world together, and live in your city, get married, how will that impact you? When I got married how did that impact you? Did you even know? When I got married, did your life change? When my parents got married and subsequently divorced, did that impact your marriage or the sanctity of marriage in general? When my dad got remarried and then divorced once again, did your world come crashing down? Was the world made any worse or any better from any of these marriages?
So why are we talking about it? Since when do we as a country get to decide what people do in their personal lives? We are wasting time and resources on an issue that has nothing to do with protecting society. If gay people are an issue to you, inhibiting them from getting married isn’t going to make them disappear. It’s not going to make your marriage better or worse. It’s not going to prevent divorce. It isn’t going to prevent loving, committed relationships between same sex couples and it surely isn’t going to make this world a better place to live in.
In fact it is doing just the opposite. This discussion is spawning more hate, inspiring intolerance, and making it all the more likely that a child will begin to feel like they are worthless. Where is the moral integrity in that scenario? What about intolerance and judgment proves your beliefs? What about making someone feel badly about themselves is loving or kind?
People get married every single day that shouldn’t. People get married every single day that end up divorced, some in just 72 days. But the fact of the matter is that is none of our business. People have the right to make bad choices or good ones, the right to believe what they want even if we don’t agree, and certainly people should have the right to marry regardless of their sexual orientation.
Why? Because personal decisions, relationships, love… each have nothing to do with anyone else except the people involved. Spend your time fighting for peace, to end hunger, to make the world a better place for your children. Because all this gay marriage talk is just wasting our time. Stop worrying about other people’s lives and start fighting for something that really makes a difference in yours.
If the issue of freedom is at question here, whether it be speech or in general, something isn’t adding up. Imagine what would happen if all this energy going into the gay marriage debate was put towards helping others. I think collectively, regardless of which side we are on, we just might be able to change the world. Fight for something that will make a difference in the lives of others and watch yours improve exponentially. Surely we can all agree that love always prospers over hate, kindness is more gratifying than intolerance, and acceptance is much better than rejection.
MJ said it best. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at look at yourself and then make a change.
AAAAAAWWWWWWWSOME!!! Oh Alicia, this is the BEST thing I’ve read in a long time. You definitely nailed it on the head. Great job & AMEN!
Thank you Stephanie!
This is basically amazing. I wish so many people could look outside the box they live in to see the REAL issue! Right on. Thanks for sharing
Thank YOU for being fabulous even if you aren’t predestined.
Excellent! I will add this blog post to the list of reasons why I think you are awesome.
Can I see the rest of your list?
I believe this should be required reading. Alicia, I’m so glad you came back to say this
Thank you Jenna! Glad to be back!
This should be on the front page of every single newspaper around the country tomorrow.
Thank you Leslie!
I assume you are either married to or *are* a chiropractor. Other than that issue, I agree with many, almost most, of your points. Just make sure we let all people who wish to get married legally do so, because benefits and visitation in hospitals, and all of that… those are really important. A man not being able to visit his dying partner in ICU, or not being able to make decisions they agreed upon, is just as relevant as 12 people being thoughtlessly killed. (since we can’t go back in time and prevent that, let’s look forward) Needless suffering of anyone is needless. I’ll stop talking about it when a gay marriage is just another legal marriage.
I agree with you 100%. The underlying point is that all people should have the right to get married and it should never have been a question in the first place. And I still think you’d enjoy a trip to the chiropractor.
If you’re a Christian, the issue is the glory of God. The issue is the image of God.
Consider this: how would you feel about a flag burning as a form of protest? Does burning a flag equal freedom of speech? Do we have a right to disrespect a symbol of our country?
The Bible tells us not to murder because man was made in the image of God. It says nothing about man’s worth, or that man deserves to live. If anything, it says that without the sacrifice of Jesus, we all deserve hell. Thank God for Jesus Christ!
If we are to legalize any kind of sin, (even the many sins I have personally committed), we are to say that men know better than God. Not only is this an affront to the image of God, but it is a slap in the face to the sovereignty of God.
True love for your neighbor means wanting the best for them. It means taking a stand and letting them know that what they are doing has eternal consequences. I don’t show my kids I love them by letting them do whatever they want. I show my kids love by keeping them inside after dark, away from too many sweets, in bed at a reasonable hour, etc.
We are our brother’s keeper. You clothe all the homeless in the world, but without Jesus, they are just going to hell with a new shirt. You can feed all the hungry, but without Jesus, they are just going to hell with a full belly.
We need to stand for Christ.
Thank you Brian for stopping by and sharing your side of the story. I understand your view point but my response would be the same to anyone in this situation.
If you spend your time serving others rather than condemning them, the glory of God will be that much greater for you. As a Christian you have the responsibility to lead by example, as a pastor even more so. You have the responsibility to show your children that God teaches us to love others and be kind despite their choices, their beliefs or their ailments. Think Jesus and prostitutes. We were not put here to judge. Any belief that is harmful to others is toxic and has no place being rooted in religion and is certainly not backed by God. Live YOUR life in God’s image. Let God handle the rest.
For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? = Matthew 7:2-4
Amazing response, Alicia. Thank you.
Brian, I too am a believer in standing for Christ and what He came here to show us. He gave us two commandments. And those were to love your neighbor as yourself and love God with all of your heart and soul. Aside from that, he never gave us a list of sins like Paul did. If you were really interested in what guidelines the Bible gives us then I might suggest translating the bible for the time period and Culture in which it was written. You may also be assuming that your beliefs are the only true ones, which most Christians do. However, I might also think that an atheist believes that he is 100% right on with what he believes. We can only believe based on what we feel or think is right as we are all trying to do and be what is right to us.
You are also assuming that homosexuality is a sin but not everyone believes that that is true.
What I think Alicia is trying to say is that arguing over what one man believes is sin vs what another man doesn’t seems fairly ridiculous when you consider all of the other very real issues going on in the world
Gay marriage is an issue of civil rights and government and religion should really not intertwine because we are all not reading from the same Bible
Gay marriage WILL be legalized and I, like Alicia, think we as a PEOPLE need to stop worry about what our neighbors are doing in their personal lives, so long as they aren’t committing violent acts against themselves or others against their will, and start focusing on the issues that are truly affecting our world.
That’s my two cents. I probably have 50 more in my pocket. But arguing homosexuality in the name of Jesus is so ignorant. Jesus never said anything for or against it. It was a non issue, which is the way it should stay
I want to give you an enormous hug–this is the best.
AMEN. What more can I say besides that? Regardless of your religious beliefs, gay marriage is an issue of equal rights and, therefore, discrimination. Our country was founded on the separation of church and state and while we haven’t always done the best at succeeding in that, there was a reason for doing it that way–for protection, for equality, for an attempt at unbiased rules and regulations. But while we’re talking about religion, it is absolutely ridiculous and ignorant and flat out disobedient to be arguing over the issue of homosexuality in the first place. Like Robin said, what were we commanded to do? To love our neighbor. To help those who are poor. To become servants. To follow Christ’s example (who was himself Love incarnate). And we’re told that any judgment made on our part will be turned back on us. Bravo to you, Alicia, for having the courage to share this. I’ve so missed your posts, by the way, and I think you’re one of the most amazing people I’ve never met.
Keep up the good work. And come back here soon.
Amazing blog entry, wish more thought this way and then maybe our country would become the dream again. But for me I am ready to move outside of borders and find a new place to call home!
I’m late to the party in reading your post, but very well said!
Thank you Erika!
wow great job Alica!Every one should read this.Thanks for sharing