Hello Friends! Did everyone survive the wrath of Irene? So far I haven’t heard of any really tragic situations and I hope it stays that way. I do assume many of you are cleaning up the mess left behind and I hope that is a swift process! While I was browsing the internet this weekend, I came across a few interesting wedding related articles on Yahoo’s homepage and I immediately knew I wanted to get your opinion on them. So read on and let’s discuss…
First up… Yahoo had an article on the top 9 trends that have gone too far. Basically, trends that are over used and should come to an end. Before I get in to what they actually are, I have to ask, is it possible for a trend to become cliche in an event such as a wedding? Yes, there are several trends that I would like to see disappear but weddings can not be lumped into a large category. Weddings are individual events for couples that are entirely unique from the rest. Just because hundreds of other couples have served beer in mason jars at their wedding, really didn’t make me think twice about doing it at mine. What may be trendy in the world of weddings and clearly recognized by those in the industry are not always thought of the same way by brides and grooms who are planning one wedding, one time. For example, just yesterday on Facebook I saw a status that was remarking with complete amazement at the couple’s idea to offer flip-flops for ladies when their feet just couldn’t bear heels anymore. As someone who looks at weddings daily, I know this is no new trend but let’s remember that not everyone is as obsessed with wedding gawking as we are. I think everyone should use caution when discussing trends negatively. For some couples, trends are brand new fabulous ideas. With that being said, I do agree with a few items on their list, here it is in it’s entirety.
- Dancing to the song At Last… I do love the song but I can’t say I don’t disagree with this sentiment. I believe if you are 70 and marrying for the first time, At Last is completely appropriate. If you are a twenty something, go for something else. Thoughts?
- Tiny Food- The writer doesn’t appreciate cup cakes, mini-quiche, or any version of small food. I disagree. When done well, I am all about bite-sized food options, especially during cocktail hour. Serving burgers at a wedding may not excite most people, but offering mini-burgers as a pre-meal snack is adorable in my opinion.
Mini-pancakes… need I say more?
3. Still life photography… i.e. dress shots, ring shots, shoe shots… Completely disagree but I’d love to hear some opinions from Brides. Again as someone who loves looking at wedding photography, these are some of my favorite shots. However that may be because 99% of the time I don’t know the couple so seeing pictures of them isn’t quite as exciting. I do love my ring shots, shoe shots, and dress shots from my wedding and fully intend on making them part of the album. Photogs, what are your thoughts on this? Do Brides love these shots? I do agree that many times photographers could use a bit more creativity but again, its not like the couple has 400 dress shots at home, they have theirs and they probably don’t care that they look like everyone elses.
4. Tables named after the couple’s not-so-interesting interests… Their wording, not mine. I have to say, I love to see creativity when it comes to table numbers whether that be just finding interesting ways to display the actual numbers or coming up with names for the tables that aren’t numbers. Pretty much no one cares about the table numbers anyway so if a couple wants to name them after dryer lint and cleaning products, I have no problem with that.
5. Using the term ‘Bridezilla’… This was one makes sense as she describes it: “Perhaps if we replaced the get-out-of-jail-free term, ‘bridezilla’, with the more accountable ‘lunatic’, there would be fewer tantrums, fractured friendships, and eye-makeup smudges. Everyone’s entitled to a meltdown on their big day. But with high divorce rates, broken engagements, and a host of spin-off ‘zillas’, the term has come to excuse the inappropriate actions of anyone who’s ever attended a wedding.” Agreed. Get it together people and be nice.
6. Guests as photographers… They are referring to disposable cameras placed at every table for the guests to snap shots. I would say this one in general is outdated and likely shouldn’t even be on the list. Can you even buy a disposable camera anymore? I think after couples realized that it cost them $200 to develop 12 cameras filled with photos of the dance floor this stopped happening. Does this happen?! I haven’t been to a wedding in years where I saw any sort of disposable camera. However they should have discussed guests taking crappy shots with their cell phones and then blasting them all over Facebook. Leave the photo taking to the photographers, that is why the couple is paying big bucks for them.
7. Dogs as ring bearers… I am going to guess that the writer isn’t a dog owner. I am all about dogs in weddings if A. they are really important to the couple and B. They can handle it. I don’t think it is fair to subject a super shy dog to a crowd of staring people. But if the dog is up for it, go for it. Case in point…
Our photos with Charlie are without question some of my favorites. While he didn’t make an appearance at our actual ceremony (for his sake and ours) I am SO happy we included him in a few photos.
8. The roast toast… There is not much to say with this one as I didn’t even realize it was a trend. If you suspect that your Best Man might be completely tacky and inappropriate, skip the speeches. Or, better yet, pick a new Best Man.
9. The laid-back theme… This last one confuses me. The writer is knocking beach weddings and barn weddings, or any such venue that isn’t a banquet hall. As if by picking the beach and opting to go bare foot means that you are trying to be laid back as opposed to, oh I don’t know, practical? Have you ever tried to walk in heels in sand? Enough said.
So what do you think? Do you agree with the list? Is there anything you would add? I’m happy to throw in the mustache trend although I know many of you are still obsessed with it.
I could end this post right here but after reading that article and skimming through related articles I read one about a dress store who refused to sell a dress to a lesbian bride. The store is called, Here Comes the Bride and it is in Somers Point, New Jersey. After reviewing the Bride’s questionnaire and noticing that she crossed off groom and wrote partner, the owner called her and told her she would not be ordering any dresses for her. She stated that her choices were illegal and the store would not involve itself in any illegal activities. Except discrimination that is. I know better than to read the comment section of articles like this one, but I did and became infuriated with the ignorance of people as usual. The argument that ensued was: Is this completely outrageous (yes) or is this the shop owner’s right to refuse business that isn’t in line with her morals? (WTF?) I tell you this only so you are informed if this dress shop is on your list of places to visit.
Ok let’s discuss… both articles or just one, I’d love your opinions!
i agree with your opening statement-people in the wedding industry do see it all over and over again-so what a ‘trend’ is to them may just be something really cool that the couple just discovered. make your wedding your own-put on a great party for your guests and call it a day! i will say though, as a wedding photographer i challenge myself to capture those trends in different ways so the images always look unique. cheers!
I too think we need to be careful when it comes to being negative about wedding trends. I often forget that people don’t look at weddings as often as I do…that being said I often laugh when I hear things like the flip flop comment. Lovely gesture yes…new idea..not so much. I actually did go to a recent wedding with disposable cameras. I warned the bride gently that I thought this woudl be a total waste of money and …yes I ended up being right. alot of pictures of tongues and silly faces! p.s. I love a puppy at a wedding but I too would love to see the mustach go..to each his own!
The dress store refusing to sell her a dress is ABSOLUTELY UPSETTING! I am outraged trhat someone would do this in today’s world. Just because you do not agree does not mean you should be able to discriminate and treat people with such disregard! I am getting all fired up over here!!!
I found this list for the most part to be hilarious. This doesn’t sound like someone in the wedding industry at all, just someone who has been to a few weddings (from some answers, most likely 5 years ago) and has some peeves. This seemed more like her personal opinions of what a wedding should be and things not fitting in to her traditional standard. I always think if you are not an expert at something, you shouldn’t try and exert your opinions, especially through a place like Yahoo.
Oh my gosh the store refusing to sell a dress? I would sue them. That is completely ridiculous and so incredibly rude. How dare they? As for the Yahoo article, Andrew read it to me last night and I think so many things on that list are way off! But then again Yahoo sometimes provides silly articles!
Wow. First, I can’t believe the store discriminated against the bride like that! That is so beyond unacceptable – I don’t even have words. Hopefully the negative reactions to that article will cost them a ton of business!
It sounds like the wedding trends article was written by someone who is either A) incredibly jaded by being in the wedding industry for too long or B) a major Debbie Downer.
I haven’t been writing about weddings for all that long, so I certainly don’t think “trends” are outdated or overdone. You make an excellent point – as long as it’s what the couple wants, what difference does it make? They should have what makes them happy at their wedding; they don’t need to be worrying about re-inventing the wheel, so to speak.
Great commentary, Alicia!
This was a great post! I can’t believe that a store owner would not sell a dress to ANYBODY! This is a setup to never sell a dress.
I agree with some of the points, like the roast toast, but I’m all for naming the tables instead of using table numbers. This gives more of an insight into the couple and is a conversation starter at dinner. I think the person who wrote the article just didn’t attend any great weddings!
definitely disagree on a lot of the trends that should be “over” – it’s so different to be in the wedding industry vs. attending or having a wedding! just because you’ve seen something a lot on the big wedding blogs, doesn’t mean your guests have! it’s your party – and you do what you want to!
also – so disappointed in that store owner in NJ. truly upsetting.
Really? Laid-back weddings are a trend? I didn’t realize I was being trendy when I had a relaxed wedding. Sorry, lady. We all can’t afford (or WANT) an elegant, formal, uptight event. Some of us would like to see our guests kick off their shoes and be comfortable. Clearly her focus is on the wedding and not the marriage, which is a serious event regardless if it’s held in high heels or flip flops. And not for nothing, but my guests LOVED how relaxed our wedding is. They’re still talking about it!
Sorry lol. Rant over.
I tend to agree with you that weddings are an expression of the couple and they happen to LOVE a certain trend, then they should include it. I also think that trends can be subjective to the people at the actual wedding.
For example, from all the blogging I did, I found that crafting your own bouquets was quite popular, but my guests have never seen that before. I was also the first one to have a cake that wasn’t covered in flowers. It may be the first time that people actually see one these “trends”. To your guests it’s new so why not go with it?
As a reporter, any kind of fixed shot sort of irks me. I actually kept our posed photos at a minimum opting for a more photojournalistic take. But, I would still like pictures of all of those little details because they are important things to remember. Do I need 45 different shots of my rings or shoes? No. But a few is nice.
Haha, I love At Last. I’m such an old lady at heart. Our wedding song was Stand By Me so what does that tell you about our musical tastes lol.
And to the NJ shop owner: I hope there is so much protest against your store, you are forced to close your close-minded doors.
The laidback wedding thing REALLY confused me. I think she was trying to say that couples try to present a laid back affair but really they spent $20k on it. She just didn’t word it very well. I don’t think she was necessarily bashing beach weddings as I have to think she would be smarter than that. But I am confident couples don’t select a barn because they want guests to think their wedding was cheap. So either way, that one was ridiculous. And I agree with you, guests are generally completely oblivious to wedding trends like many of mine who were amazed and loved that I wore red shoes as opposed to a standard ivory pair. Of course we know colored shoes are no new thing but guests are generally not frequenters of wedding blogs.
When I read the flip flops thing it took me back to when we started the blog and had a post on dancing shoes and we were amazed too!!It’s only now after spending hours in wedding world do I see its not so new-but I would never have known otherwise and nor would have half my readers!
I like the still life shots- later on in life you will like to remember the details!
WHAT! No pets?rubbish!All puppies must be included one way or the other.
And I wish these literate people would get more EDUCATED and treat people equally. Sad to hear about that incident!
I worked with a Bride who had a florist tell her that her color palette was “overdone” & witnessed the heartbreak on her face. Besides finding her a new florist, I vowed to never, ever tell a Bride her ideas are too trendy or overdone. If the Bride & Groom like the idea & it means something to them, it makes no difference how many other Brides & Grooms have done it before them.
By the way, one of our biggest wedding regrets is not including our pup in any of our photos. I love your wedding puppy shot!
Such a great post Alicia! I couldn’t agree more with you! This Yahoo/or whoever chick really needs to consider writing for the fashion industry where trends come and go overnight and one day you’re wearing fringe and the next day you wouldn’t be caught dead in it. In the wedding industry things are so different. Trends change the wedding industry, some of them permanently. And since you only get married once (hopefully) if a bride wants to use “trend” she saw two years ago, I say go for it! It’s new to her. In my opinion, weddings should perfectly showcase the bride & groom’s style, personalities, etc. and if that means you have a laid-back wedding with Scruffy as the ring barer, 500 still photos, mini foods, and quirky table numbers, then darn it- do it! And do it big!! then be sure to take a million photos and send them all to this lovely reporter
Such a great post, Alicia! Definitely agree that some things on that list are wayyy off. The laidback wedding thing was a real shock. I also think she’s way off-base on that. And I canNOT believe the store wouldn’t sell her a dress!! That is just appalling and truly heartbreaking.
Comments make me want to gouge out my eyes and run screaming for Canada. Or start demanding that if gays can’t marry, COUSINS CAN’T EITHER. At least the number of genetic irregularities is significantly smaller when gays bring a child into the world/their home, dammit!
Okay, now that I have stepped off that box, taken several deep breaths and looked a kittens in soft focus and lovely light, I can address outdated wedding trends.
1. I’m over At Last, but if it means the world to you, dance to it. Just know I roll my eyes. Kind of like I can’t help but roll my eyes at brides who walk down the aisle to Canon in D or the Wedding March. Or people who don’t know that the Wedding March was written by Wagner, or are confused about why their church/synagogue won’t play it. But that’s because I’m a music nerd.
2. Tiny food is fun, as long as it’s tasty tiny food. Flavorless dollops of mushroom puree on teeny tiny toasts? Not cute or tasty.
3. As wedding bloggers, we LOVE ring shots, shoe shots, dress shots, tablescape shots, DETAILS. Don’t try to take those away from us. Or the brides who spent all that time agonizing over the perfect earrings.
4. Table names, s’nable names. At least it’s not “one, two, three”, you creativity sucking meanie. (Warning: comments Lena appearing)
5. Let’s call a Bridezilla what she is-a b*tch with a newly insured engagement ring. Using the word is tired, but being one is even more so. Act like a lady.
(not replying to 6-7 because you nailed it and I have nothing witty or clever to add)
8. Roasts are for late night TV specials, the bachelor party or your frat house. Maaaaybe a rehearsal dinner if you have no self control.
9. I hate this writer, who clearly just wants to get some leverage out of the rental tux some sleazy sales guy wanted him to “invest” in. Long live laid back weddings, and the couples who throw them!
i love At Last and find it to be timeless and classic. but that’s just my opinion. it was our last “slow dance” at our wedding.
as for all the other trends, here’s what i had to say on the topic (completely agree with you, alicia!) http://lovelylittledetails.com/2011/05/10/advice-staying-true-to-your-vision-no-matter-what-others-may-say/
Trends are irrelevant if the couple is authentic in their style. It is not a ‘trend’ if she loves flip flops. It is not a trend if their dog is really a furry child. The only way to follow a passe trend is to do what someone else is doing just because they are doing it.
2nd topic…this deserves a real response.
When you have loved someone that is gay and lose them, it changes the way you see the world. I CANNOT stomach the fear and hate that lives in the heart of ignorant people. Love as much as possible for as long as you can.
Great post, Alicia! I am on board with you, regarding the mini-food served at weddings, dogs as ring bearers, walking barefooted on the beach is practical and cute! The person that wrote the article seems outdated on what still works and is popular.
I agree with the disposable cameras, everyone has cameras with them, either actual camera or cell phone, and couples can send their guests to upload the photos to their wedding website and share with all. I don’t even remember how to develop film anymore, such a wasted cost. I also agree that roasting the couple is horrible. I witnessed this once, and the bride was brought to tears, it was so horrible to watch. Everyone claimed it was all in good fun, but there is a line-maybe roast at the bachelorette party, but not at a wedding when emotions are high.
As for the bridal shop-that bride should get everyone to write up a bad review on yelp, or similar to turn traffic away from that store. A bride is a bride is a bride-whom that bride chooses to marry should have no bearing for a business owner to decide to turn a potential client away. This is frustrating to hear and rather upsetting. I hope that bride finds her perfect dress!
Totally agree with you Alicia – and I have to say that I LOVE mini foods. I actually don’t see this going away anytime soon and actually think more and more brides will start doing this. I personally prefer being able to sample a bit of everything instead of being stuffed from one large meal. And, weddings on a beach or in a barn at great because they’re relaxed and not stuffy. My favorite wedding I’ve ever attended took place in a barn. And, detail shots? Gotta have them!!!!! That’s typically what is most often overlooked at the wedding and you want to remember it with the photos. Plus, those photos always lend themselves to great compositions
everything you say is amazingly well said. I can´t imagine why having a beach or barn wedding can´t be elegant and classic, just because some people wish to celebrate at the atmosphere they love the most doesn´t mean the wedding is less important. I love what you say about disposable cameras, now a days hiring a professional I MEAN PROFESSIONAL photographer is probably one of the most important aspects for bride and groom about their wedding day. And if you want fun photos of your guests doing silly things get a photobooth too!!!
And I totally agree with you, ring shots, shoe shots, dress shots and other shots are as important as your family and friends photos.
And last but not least, I LOVE DOGS yes I agree with you!!! I f I can get my dog to walk down the aisle, (swear I ll take him to lessons if necessary) I would be more than happy to have him there with us!
I really loved this post, it caught me on line 3 and couldn’t stop reading until the end!!!!
Pingback: For the Love of Shoe Shots | The Charity Wedding
I think you should have exactly the kind of day that you want. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with trends, and it is great when someone is able to come up with something brand new fangled and interesting in terms of a wedding idea. But, what is the need for the extra added pressure if something works it works.
And as for the store owner there are no words, that is a disgraceful way to treat someone. Just order the dress and be done with it – can’t bear prejudice of any form!
Can I just say that I LOVE this post of yours? I completely agree with everything that you said! I know that I sometimes forget that there are new brides popping up all the time. Which means that what is a trend to one person, is a completely fascinating and new idea to another. I know that I never picked up a wedding magazine or visited a single wedding blog before I was engaged. Ha, my husband sometimes suggests post ideas for me, and I always think they’re kind of “duh” subjects, but then they end up being some of my most popular posts! I now appreciate his outside opinion and lack of knowledge about weddings because there are so many brides out there that need to know the basics, and don’t care how creative your inspiration board concept is! They just want to know when they should start looking for a photographer! (in example)
I know I’m a day late to chime in, but I never liked how anyone can say “oh that is such an old or lame trend” There are so many personalities out there getting married that whatever a couple decides to do, no one should be out there judging what is in or not. It is funny that all of these trends the article talks about are ones I never even knew of until after I got married and started blogging! Well I did know about the camera one, but like you said who uses those anymore! I just relied on cousins and friends on facebook to get those fun candid shots.